Stripper's Bible Study, Part 7

To quote George Michael, "Let's talk about faith, baby, let's talk about you and me"

Faith is belief in something you can't see. Like gravity. Or the wind. You trust that gravity is there and will work even though you can't see it or probably even explain it. The wind is the same. You know that even though the wind may not blow for days, eventually it will. You would bet money on it and teach your children to respect gravity and the wind, right?

Don't you also have faith that George Washington actually existed? You've never seen him, but you take it on good account that wise people have written about him and that he must have been a true person. But....do you trust George Washington for anything today? He's dead. He isn't going to do anything great anymore. He doesn't continue to exist or prove himself to you. You can't count on George Washington to fix our political situations now or lead us into battle. But you do have faith that he was a real person and you would teach your children that he lived on this earth and was a good leader.

So there are different levels of faith, different ways in which you believe in things you cannot see.

You can intellectually or mentally believe that something or someone is true and exists without trusting in that thing or person for any evidence of itself. Lots of people feel this way about God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit. You can believe that God exists. You can believe it to be true that Jesus was the son of God, walked the earth and that he died for your sins on the cross. You can believe that the Holy Spirit is the part of God that lives inside you. You might even teach your children these 'truths'. It's called intellectual assent, a big fancy word combo, that means you agree something is true without needing it to prove itself to you because it makes sense to you and you have all the proof you need to agree that it is valid and real.

There are a lot of strippers out there who think that because they believe that God is real and Jesus died on the cross for our sins, that they will go to Heaven.

The Bible doesn't say that.

James 2:19 says "You believe there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that....and shudder!"

The demons are NOT going to Heaven! Demons have all the right theology but they will not trust in God and count on him to change their lives. They believe he is true and real and capable of all sorts of things, but they do not FOLLOW him. They're lives are not changed by him. They intellectually assent to his existence and do their own thing.

John 3:16 says "whosoever believes shall not perish", but the word "believe" in the original translation means "commit...commit." It's something deeper than just believing facts, it's committing one's life, turning from sin, submitting to Christ. And the Spirit of God works it all and produces a changed life. Salvation and saving faith is more than wanting forgiveness, it's more than wanting heaven, it's being willing to turn from sin and submit to Christ. (Quote from the Nature of Saving Faith by John McArthur")

And the evidence that your faith is the 'saving kind' and not the same type of faith that the demons have in God, is that your life will be changed, although maybe not over night. Maybe not in a week, but if you are really trusting in him and committed to him, you will begin to change. God loves your messy self so much that he refuses to let you stay so messy!

But, it's so much easier to trust some evangelist or maybe even your childhood pastor who might have told you that if you just walk down the aisle, say a prayer of faith, admit you're a sinner and have faith in God, that you'll be saved and go to Heaven.

Did you do that when you were a kid? Is that what you're counting on for your ticket to Heaven? Am I saying your childhood pastor was a liar? I dunno. Was your life forever changed after you walked down the aisle and said your little prayer?

And who wouldn't try that? You know, just in case that's really all it takes. I mean, why not? Just swallow your pride, do the hokey-pokey, turn yourself around and you've got a 'free pass to Heaven' card in your back pocket! Done! Next week, let's see what the Buddhist say you should do to get into their heaven and see if it's just as easy and you'll have all of your bases covered!

It's no wonder humans want to make 'faith' so easy. They want to make accepting God a cake-walk. If I can talk you into accepting God and saying a prayer, I can put another notch on my bedpost! I can be proud of myself. I can expect extra credit when I get to Heaven. It's just human nature to want other people to get on the same train you're on and validate you as having helped saved their miserable lives. There are plenty of misguided Christian's out there who are missing saving faith and failing others by teaching it to be something it's not. They will miss heaven by 18 inches. The difference between their head and their heart.

So here are the truth nuggets you can walk away with about faith:

Intellectually agreeing that God is real, isn't good enough because even the demons believe that.

Believing 'on God', like it says in the Bible, means committing to Christ and following him.

The evidence of saving faith is a changed life.

It's normal for humans to want to make faith in God easier so they can feel like they are a part of changing lives.

But maybe you're wondering:

Where do I get the kind of faith that changes my life?


How do I commit to God and start following him and just how hard is that?

We'll discuss it next week!

Stripper's Bible Study, Part 6

How can you have a deep personal relationship with someone you can't touch or see? Why would you want to engage in that relationship if this 'person' is known to be the jealous type and has wiped out entire civilizations? (although...I was the kind of girl, who thought that sort of guy was kinda sexy! I liked them dangerous and unpredictable!)

Isn't God some old unapproachable guy with a long beard and Jesus is his wimpy Ghandi-like doting son? And who wants to sit in Heaven for freakin' eternity singing lame hymns of praise all day and night even if it is a really beautiful place? I wasn't going to sign up for that!

And the Bible....seriously? Am I supposed to believe it is relevant to today's world? Jonah and the whale? Parting the sea? No sex till marriage? Sure.

These are just some of the questions I probably was never even really sober enough to ask myself, but might have been thinking back in the days of neon lights, one dollar bills and funny-money.

And I can't answer them all in one blog post, but I can give you something to think about for today and eventually I will address all of them.

I've told you that you don't have to 'clean up' before you come to Christ. He'll take you as is. You don't have to stop dancing, stop having sex, stop drinking, blah, blah, blah. All you have to do it take one step at a time toward him. Seek him. Get to know him.

But who is this 'him'? Who is God vs. Jesus and are they really the same and which one do you pray to?

One question just seems to lead to more questions, right? How can you ever get it all figured out? Well, you don't have to. That's why we have faith. We don't have to know all the answers if we have faith, but most of us need SOME kind of answers to at least some of our questions before we can just hand our life over to someone and start making changes.

God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are one body, they are the Trinity. When you pray to one, you pray to all three. They have always been together and existed in love and peace and harmony as three distinct personalities, but all in perfect sync with one another. God's characteristics are vast, but the ones that have mattered the most to me and helped me understand who he really is are that God is love and God is just. God is the part of the Trinity that acts like the CEO and makes things happen. He decides who gets fired and hired. What gets made or un-made and what is best for his company.

Jesus' most important characteristic (according to me) is that he is the part of Trinity (or God-head) that was made into flesh and dwelt among us on the Earth in human form. So, Jesus is the CEO who dressed up as a secretary and worked among all the normal folks and ultimately sacrificed himself for everyone else even though all the other employees were mean to him. (Imagine a CEO of some big company giving up his job, his bonuses, his home, his family, his everything just to make sure his ungrateful employees got the very best. Ha. It would never happen!)

The Holy Spirit is the part of the Trinity that lives inside us when we accept and trust that Christ sacrificed himself for our sins and that Jesus is God as well. The Holy Spirit's personality is quiet and gentle and guides us toward Jesus with a whisper. The Holy Spirit will be quiet if you want him to, after all, he is living inside your body...... over which you have ultimate control. So if you shush him, he'll quiet down. But if you let him lead, he will guide you toward the right choices every time! He's like a built-in GPS.

The Holy Spirit is also the interpreter. The Bible is like another language that you can't decipher completely unless you have an interpreter. And since the Holy Spirit won't dwell inside you until you accept Christ, the Bible might not make a ton of sense to you until you have faith. Don't worry...we'll get to faith soon!

Now these are very simplistic explanations (and I'm sure I'll be criticized for watering it down so much) and there is far more to it, but sometimes you just need a foundation to start layering things on top of!

Getting to know God's character and falling in love with Christ and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide you is the ultimate goal, but it's like a marriage and it takes a courtship period of discovering one another, then steps toward commitment, then a commitment ceremony, then hard work for the first year learning to trust and rely on each other and figuring out all the little kinks and then loving each other as a choice when the feeling of excitement wears off, and staying intimate even when you don't feel like it and reproducing and finally looking back on all your hard work together and being so proud of your team and realizing you could never have done it alone.

God (all three of Him) wants you to join him and begin this adventure. He is that guy you always dreamed of who is sensitive and compassionate, a good listener, romantic and chases you but still has firm boundaries he won't let you cross and makes you feel confident that he is in charge and you are safe and protected. He is that answer to every woman's dream of the perfect man who gets her and respects her and needs her and is fascinated by her, but he is still stronger and wiser and you can't imagine how someone so amazing could love someone like you! The more you get to know him, the deeper the love grows and the more you realize what you thought were his flaws are not flaws at all, but unique characteristics that make you trust him and love him even more.

Some women will deny that this is what they really want deep down. I hope you're not stupid enough to be one of them. It's hard-wired into us by our creator (yep, the same guy) and if you're denying it, it means you have built up a wall of denial so thick that you probably aren't reading this...which is why I can say 'you're stupid'.....because if you're reading this, you are not that kind of girl. Women are fascinated by fairy-tales and romance novels and movies with leading men who exude these God-like characteristics. If you're wondering who God is and what he is really like, watch TV, read a Danielle Steel book, go to Disney World. But be smart enough to know that TV producers of The Bachelor, Ms. Steel and Walt Disney are manufacturing a man-made version of God and spoon feeding it to you because it's what you want. You respond to it. You love it. It's hard-wired into you. But The Bachelor doesn't ever knock on your door, you can't see or touch the hero in the book and you can't afford to stay at Disney World forever. The real God you are craving to fill that hole of desire in your life is just around the corner. He isn't as pushy as you think he is and you'll have to let him know you're interested, but he's a short walk away, sitting on his horse, shining in his armor and waiting to take you away on the adventure of your life!

Revelations 19:16 "On his robe and on his thigh he has a name written, King of kings and Lord of lords."

See, he even has tattoos! I told you He was the One!

Strippers Bible Study Part 5

I used to thank God that I was pretty enough to be a stripper. I really did pray that and really thanked the Lord for giving me the body, face and guts needed to be a dancer. I was so grateful for that job. I didn't have to work under very many rules. I could make my own schedule. I could drink at work. I got to wear fun clothes and be creative with my hair and makeup. I could pretend to be whoever I wanted any night of the week. I could make good money if I worked at it. I was told I was beautiful or smart or funny or sexy several times each night I worked. Sure, there were some drawbacks, but I couldn't think of any regular job I'd rather have. And really, I was just waiting for some knight in shining armor to sweep me away and take care of me so I wouldn't have to work at all.

I obviously didn't know God very intimately or I might have thought twice about thanking him for the 'gift' of dancing. God didn't really give that to me, I made it happen. I used what he gave me for my own purposes. But my point is that I truly thought God would at least want me to be thankful. I felt grateful that I could earn a living in such a fun environment and I'd offer that up to God every now and then.

Because I didn't subscribe to any particular religion or believe in any hard core version of who God was, I was permitted to do whatever I wanted. I decided who God was and shaped him into a fairy god-mother of sorts. So, really, I was the one making up the rules and setting the guidelines.

I had sex with whomever I wanted. I didn't have to feel bad about it. Men do it all the time, right? What's the difference?

I lied to whoever was dumb enough to believe me. If you were too stupid to let me take advantage of you, then that was your problem. Why shouldn't I benefit from your lack of understanding?

Only the strongest should survive so if I stepped on someone or betrayed someone to get what I wanted, then I was doing the world a favor by stamping out the weakest link.

I was certain that any man would prefer me to his ho-hum-plain-jane girlfriend or wife. So if I could steal him, I would. Or maybe I would just make him want me even if I didn't really want him.

This was the framework for my world. This was the god I created. This was my religion and I wanted to convert as many people to my way of understanding as possible.

But there was a tiny problem.

After thanking the god I created for my dancing job, I would wonder if he heard me.

After having a one night stand, I would feel a horrible sense of guilt for days. Why?

After telling a drunk customer I had done 6 table dances when I had only done 3, I'd pray that I wouldn't see him for weeks.

After convincing some unfortunate poor sap that I would go on vacation with him and we'd live happily ever after, I'd hide in the dressing room and tell the waitress to tell him I got terribly sick and had to go home.

After manipulating some dumb woman's even dumber husband to buy me new appliances, I'd have dreams about their children finding out who I was and begging me to stop interfering with their lives.

As long as I was drinking and playing in my dark little world, my rules and my religion worked well for me. But as soon as I was alone with my own thoughts and forced to face my true feelings.....well.......well, I'd have to start drinking again and get straight back to work because I couldn't bear the damn shame that seemed to follow my little victories.

If my world view, my religion and my framework were based on logic and intelligence, then why did I have those weird feelings? Why was there an emptiness? Why was I working so hard to combat shame with freedom?

Why did Adam and Eve cover themselves with a fig leaf after eating from the forbidden tree?

The answer is the same. It's recognition, even on a subconscious level, of a separation from our true maker. God, the real one, has a signature or watermark on each of us. Whether you have never believed in Him or have believed a twisted version of Him or have never even heard of Him........the evidence is still there that He made you for His glory and the farther you stray, the sharper the shame. The closer you get, the more pervasive the peace. This is the evidence. If that isn't enough evidence for you, I understand. Just keep going. Keep creating your own god. Keep making your own rules. Stay on that highway and speed up. Eventually you'll find your exit and take the u-turn. How can I be so sure? Because you're reading this. God's mark on you has been exposed. How ironic that a stripper might try to cover herself with a fig leaf of sorts and hide her nakedness. You should change your stage name to Eve.

Stripper's Bible Study Part 4

So if sin keeps us separated from God and we all have sinned, then what is the solution? Jesus.

Ah, yes. Jesus. Is it hard for you to say the name Jesus out loud? It was for me. Still is, if I'm really honest. I definitely use the word God more than Jesus. Why? Is it because of all the "Jesus Freaks" out there who stop you on the street and ask if Jesus is your Lord and Savior and so people are just leery of those who name drop Jesus all the time? Or is it our own sense of guilt creeping in on us and reminding of us of our disassociation with him? I really don't know for sure why the name Jesus makes the hair on people's back stand up, but I bet if you asked 100 people only 20 of them would say they adore hearing and saying the name of Jesus. Most of us just don't like it.

I have a theory that it's the exclusivity of Jesus being the only way into Heaven that makes people uncomfortable. Christians have a bad reputation for reminding people that if they don't choose Jesus, they go to Hell. Meaning all other religions are doomed. Why is it a bad reputation if it's true? And is it true? Well, the Bible says Jesus is the only way.

"I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but through me" (John 14:6). "For unless you believe that I am He, you will die in your sins" (John 8:24).

Christians didn't make it up that Jesus is the only way to Heaven. They didn't decide their religion was best and to hell with all others, literally. Jesus, himself said it. And like I mentioned in the last post....since He created the whole Universe and all, He sorta gets to make up the rules. We don't have to like it. We don't have to agree with it. But the truth is the thing that actually is. There can only be one truth. You can disagree with the law of gravity, but if you jump off a cliff, it will still affect you.

And lots of other religions say there is only one way to Heaven too. We aren't the only ones. It's your job to investigate and find out which one is right. If I truly believe Jesus is the only way, then I can't also agree that maybe for you, Buddhism is the right path. I can respect your right in this country to make that choice, but I have to believe your choice is a poor one in order to believe that mine is correct. It's okay to disagree. But the truth should be presented in love, not condemnation. If someone gently hands you a gift wrapped in a pretty box with a lovely ribbon, you're far more likely to open it than if someone throws a flaming, paper bag covered "gift" at you....you're more likely to think it's a bomb, not a present!

So who do you think Jesus was or is? Common answers are that he was a great teacher. I agree. He was a prophet. I agree. Was he the son of God? Was he fully God and fully Man?

John 1:1 says "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

The word "Word" means Jesus. He had lots of names, as I'm sure you know. If you replace Word with Jesus, it's easy to see his claim that he WAS God.

So, if you're a stripper who already believes in Jesus and God, what difference does any of this make? Isn't it enough to simply believe that Jesus was God? Believe that he was the Son of God and that he died for our sins? Maybe you have always believed Jesus was the ticket to Heaven ever since you were a child and you've never thought to question it. Great. But that isn't enough. Simply believing in who Jesus claimed he was and that he died for your sins is only intellectually agreeing with the truth. We are called to TRUST in him, not just accept his claims.

A lot of people will miss the boat to Heaven because of 18 inches. The difference between their head and their heart.

Next time, we'll look at what it means to TRUST in Jesus.

And I promise to have more stripper related stories next time. This one had to be all about brass tacks, baby! We gotta get some things straight before the rest makes sense.

Stripper's Bible Study Part 3

After I quit dancing, I went back to a topless bars to do hair and makeup in the dressing room. Part of this was an attempt to share my life and Christ with the girls who might be interested and show them some light and love. But I also made good money at it and it was an easy job! I remember one of the girls coming up to me and telling me that she had seen me reading my Bible. She said it like an accusation, like I was doing something I shouldn't have been. I thought she was going to persecute me, but then she looked at me with fear in her eyes (or maybe is was crystal meth) and said "I think I have the 7 deadly sins". She thought she had them like they were a disease or had been imbedded in her by aliens.

The seven 'deadly sins', as defined by the old Catholic church, are: lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride. Somehow I doubt this hollow girl knew what all seven were, but she was certain that she had them all and she was probably right about that. I remember wishing I had a quick and easy to answer for her to get rid of them......like lice or ants or something. But it warmed my heart to know that she had merely recognized her distance from God due to her sin and that she was reaching out and telling me "I believe in God and I don't want to go to Hell, but I don't know how to fix myself". We did not have a big 'come to Jesus' talk or anything. As a matter of fact, she stopped working there soon after and I can't even remember what I said to her. But I will never forget the sense of shame that seemed to ooze off of her. It was as if she felt she wasn't allowed to be a Christian because she was working in a place like that and she had to secretly let me know that she believed in God and knew she was a sinner.

Hear me now, ladies!! You can believe in God and be a stripper. Yes, people will call you a hypocrite. Yes, you should move closer to God and away from sin patterns in your life if you trust God's plan for you. BUT......you do NOT have to clean up before presenting yourself to God. He will take you as is. Warts and all! You can call on Him while wearing your t-back, platform shoes and nursing a hangover and he will still accept you if what you are doing is recognizing your sin and asking Him to show you the way. And if you return to the strip club the next day......He will still love you. He will guide you. He might allow you to suffer the consequences of your sin, but that is what a good parent does. There are no more excuses. You can surrender your heart before finding a way out of the bar!

Sock away that truth nugget deep in your heart and now let's get nitty-gritty and define sin. What is sin? Sin is anything that falls short of God's perfect standard. It's not just the 10 commandments or the 7 deadlies. As a matter of fact, all sin is deadly because the Bible says

"The wages of sin is death" Romans 6:23

A sin can be a thought, an action or even just an attitude. It can be what you don't do as easily as what you do. God's perfect standard is pretty tough and only one dude could hack it, Jesus. Adam and Eve didn't last very long at all. But what was their sin? It wasn't murder, stealing, lying or anything like that. It was simply a failure to obey. Like running a stop sign.

We don't get to choose what we think sin should be or which sins are really bad and which ones are not so bad. Since God created the whole universe and all....He sorta gets to make up the rules about what's what. But lots of people in this world don't even believe they are sinners.....at all! They edit God's word and have decided for themselves that sin is only breaking the law...and maybe lying too. Few people consider that God grieves when we sin by having negative thoughts about others or when we do not read our Bibles daily as we are told to do. YIKES...that one gets me all the time. So you can see how prevalent sin is in everyone's life if you believe God's definition of sin over man's! And all sin separates us from God. My not-reading-my-Bible-sin and your fornicating-with-a-married-man-sin all have the same penalty......death. Separation from God. No ticket to Heaven.

Don't let anyone tell you that the sins involved with being a stripper are greater than anyone elses. They aren't more deadly, they are just equally deadly. However, the 'lifestyle' sins are much harder to repent from. Repent means to do a u-turn. To recognize something as sin and then turn in the other direction and not move toward the sin. When your lifestyle is sinful by nature it's much harder to do that u-turn. I can, for instance, pretty easily recognize my sin of gossiping and decide not to do it for a day. It's much harder for you to to recognize the sin of sexual immorality and not go to work one day and therefore not get your bills paid, etc. So some sins have a very tight hold on us. Addictions and lifestyles are hard to quit, and the consequences are steep when you do. Therefore, I won't just tell you to repent and stop dancing without walking you through how or why you might want to. So let's stick with the baby steps for now and just start to explore what your sins are. What sin patterns have a tight hold on you? What sins have you not really called sin before now? Make a list. Or just start to label them in your head as they occur. And don't let shame creep in as you realize how long the list is! Mine is just as long!

"There is no condemnation in Christ." Romans 8:1

The simple act of recognizing your sin will draw you closer to God. And He longs for you to take even just one step toward Him!

My Story...In a few words

Happy Childhood
Young Parents
Wild Parents
Church too
Drugs too
Oldest Child
Sexual Abuse
Bossy Girl
Good Grades
People Pleaser
Sometimes Rich
Sometimes Poor
Money is for fun
Life is for fun
Work Hard
Party Harder
Sexy is cool
Virtue Smirtue
Turn Heads!
Be Thin
Look Good
Validation
Staged Attention
Stripper
Boyfriend
Abortion
Drunk Escapes
Be Sexy
Jesus? NO
Fun at all costs
Jail
More Boyfriends
Sugar Daddies
Pretty Things
Fancy Car
Abortion
Sadness
Jesus? Maybe
Engaged
Wedding Off
Married Another
Divorced
Alone
Jesus? Yes Please
Growing Strong
Craving Knowledge
Bible Study
Backsliding
Sin Wagon
Forgiven
Real Job
Stability and Options
Peace
Money Struggles
Joy
Spiritual Maturity
Solid Church
Loving Others
Learning Sin Patterns
Truly Known
Real acceptance
Confession
Forgiveness
Solid Friendships
Deep Connections
More Fun
Pure Fun
New Life
Perfect Father
Heavenly Father
Re-Raised
Re-Created
Shiny and New
Backsliding
Transparency
More Forgiveness?
YES
Love
Authenticity
Real Love
Marriage
Mutual Respect
Spiritual Leadership
Imperfection Tolerated
Imperfection Adored
Security
Baby Miscarriage
Job Loss
Trust
New City
New Job
Wonder
Excitement
Journey
Faith
Faithful
Pregnancy
Real Home
Serve Others
God's Mercy
God's Grace
His Life
Not Mine
His Will
Not Mine
Lead Me Lord
I will Follow

Stripper's Bible Study Part 2

I grew up going to church. A good church. One that taught the truth about who God is and what Christ did on the cross and the truth in the Bible. At that same church, when I was about 11, our handicapped youth pastor went to jail for molesting kids. At that same church I used to sit between two boys in the upper balcony and get felt-up. I was in a wedding at that church when I was about 13 and a 25 year old groomsmen hit on me. He was nice. I felt grown-up and wanted.

What did I learn at church during my childhood? I learned that Jesus loved me. And that I was sexy.

That church was full of truth and full of lies. It was full of screwed up people. That church was a great excuse to never go to church again once I didn't have to. They were just a bunch of hypocrites, right? They praised God in one moment and defiled children in the next. That's all the excuse anyone really needs to discount and ignore the Christian church. They are liars. They cheat. They molest. They gossip. They steal. The elders go to topless bars.

How dare anyone tell me I need church! And yet, God seemed to know ahead of time that 'church' would be scary and dangerous.

Matthew 7:15 says "Beware of false prophets which come to you in sheeps clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves".

Why can't God keep 'ravening wolves' out of church? Why can't it be a safe place with no condemnation? Why can't everyone just sing to God and love each other and make sinners feel welcome in the arms of the body of Christ?

Because a 'church' is still just a group of sinners. Even the pretty little perfect ones with 2.5 kids and a 2 story home in the burbs. They are all broken, messy people and their sins are no different to God than a stripper's list of sins.

Romans 3: 23 "All have fallen short of the Glory of God".

A church is a group of damaged people searching for hope. Couldn't you also describe a topless bar the same way? A group of damaged people looking for hope? And by that logic, you could argue that the same people that fill a club, also fill a church. The biggest difference is what they are worshiping and what they expect to give them hope.

In a topless bar, broken or lonely hearts are looking for validation. The girls and the men are both looking for someone to say "you're good and wanted".

(You might be arguing that you're only there for the money, but c'mon.....there is a deeper need being met if you're really honest with yourself)

But if another broken or lonely heart tells you you're good and wanted, it only makes you feel good and wanted for a very short time and it's not much of a compliment unless it comes from a better source. Sorta like being told you have a great haircut by a bum on the street or by Vidal Sassoon himself. It means a little more coming from the pro, right?

Church is full of the same kinda folks. Broken, messy and almost unlovable people who are looking for a pro to tell them they are good and wanted. For some of those people, it's good enough to be told they are good by what they perceive as a 'better Christian'. For others, they need the pastor to tell them. But for a few, the ones who really get it, the only fix is for God himself to say "you're good and wanted".

Afterall, God set the standard in the first place. So if He tells you you're forgiven and clean and fearfully and wonderfully made, then who are you to argue? It makes better sense to seek God's acceptance, not a fallable man's approval. And by the way, God's acceptance is actually much easier to come by! Really!

But not everyone understands that a person can go straight to God for love, acceptance and grace, so they stop along the way at topless bars or even bible study groups looking for love in all the wrong places. A church is full of people for whom the truth of how easy it is to get God's approval, has simply escaped them. They are horny teenage boys sitting in a church balcony feeling up a vulnerable girl while the pastor tells them how to get what they really need from God. They are bible study leaders who read God's truth and teach it to others, but stop in for a beer and a table dance on their way home because the words they read just didn't sink in. They are topless dancers who love and praise God at home, but can't find a way out of the messy money machine in which they work. And God knows the heart of everyone of them. And He is patient. And He is kind. He knows the crap that has been dealt to each of them because it will ultimately be used for His glory. He knows they are hearing snippets of truth here and there about his love and salvation, but can't quite own it yet. Those angry little seeds of truth are lodged in the broken and fertile hearts of men and women in churches and in bars all over the place. Some will never grow. But the ones who seek the light and the water of life will grow into whole new creatures of God's grace, all shiny and new!

It's a slow journey and we are all in different stages. Your parents will fail you, your leaders will disappoint you, your church will hurt you. You will also fail others, disappoint them and hurt them badly. We're all broken and ugly and we all have a God shaped hole that we will try to fill with something else. What are you filling the hole with? Who are looking to for validation? Who are you blaming?

James 4: 9-10 Let there be tears for the wrong things you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. When you bow down before the Lord and admit your dependence on him, he will lift you up and give you honor.

The rest of James 4 is some seriously good stuff. Try www.blueletterbible.org and look it up!